Support for Blended Families

Building relationships with step-children takes time, patience and lots of respect.

Recently, I received a reader's email asking how to improve a relationship with a partner's step-child. Her step-child is behaving in a disrespectful way towards her, and she wants to know how to improve their relationship and help teach this child how to be more respectful. So, I searched for the experts on step and blended families and found The Step and Blended Family Institute. Founders Rick and Yvonne Kelly have 11 years of experience in their own step-family experience, as well as certification as Stepfamily Counselors. Their Institute offer seminars, courses and counseling services.

According to Rick and Yvonne, both children and adults come into relationships looking for respect from the other person, but adults and children understand respect differently. On top of that, children often feel powerless about the decisions that have been made by the adults in their lives and may have suffered losses such as death, divorce or separation before the introduction of a new family member or step-family. Because of this, kids initially have their guard up and may act in a disrespectful way towards their step-parent or step-siblings.

Even if you can understand why a child is acting disrespectfully, many step-parents still want to change their step-child's behavior to be more respectful. The Step and Blended Family Institute recommends that you take your time when trying to change your step-child's behavior, and that you start by acting with the utmost respect towards them. As in the golden rule, do unto them as you would have them do unto you. By teaching by example and making the opportunity to spend quality time together enjoying a mutual hobby or activity, you can build up a healthy relationship over time.