Shopping With Children Without Temper Tantrums
How to Discipline Children Using Encouraging Parenting Methods
Aug 22, 2009
Shopping with young children can be a hassle that many parents dread. Large stores provide an over-stimulating environment for young children, and at the same time their behavior is restricted in a way that can lead to boredom, whining and temper tantrums.
But there is no reason shopping with children need be a torture session for everyone. Using encouraging parenting methods, parents can sidestep whining and temper tantrums for a more enjoyable, budget-friendly experience.
Start With a Plan When Shopping With Children
The first step to a better shopping experience is planning ahead. Parents can start by making a list of the errands to accomplish, and do the most essential items first. That way, if the children become tired and cranky, it is easy to cut the shopping trip short. Good planning also means taking into account the age and temperament of the children, and being realistic about how much shopping they can reasonably handle.
The question of how to discipline children while shopping will become less relevant when they feel encouraged and content. Once the shopping plan is developed, parents should share it with the kids so they will know what to expect. It’s important to offer children choices whenever possible, such as allowing them to choose an activity or book to bring along on the shopping trip. Framing the shopping trip as an adventure and asking the children for help will allow them to feel special and important.
Parenting Methods That Help Keep Kids Calm
It may be tempting, when shopping with a child who threatens parents with a temper tantrum, to use toys or candy as “bribes” for good behavior in a store. It is not unusual to see a desperate and frazzled parent offering her child a chocolate bar or stuffed animal in exchange for good behavior for the rest of the shopping trip. This may seem to work in the short-term, but in reality it teaches children that bad behavior is the most effective way to get what they want.
Punishment is another parenting method often employed while shopping by stressed-out parents when a temper tantrum seems imminent. Angry and frustrated parents often respond to their children with yelling, threats, or even physical punishment when shopping trips are not going well. These parenting methods, however, only increase the negative emotions of both the parent and child. They also reinforce bad behavior and power struggles by handing control of the parent’s emotions over to the child. Not to mention that yelling and punishments make shopping with children even less pleasant!
"Encouraging parenting methods" are more effective in the long run than either punishment or bribes. Parents who know how to discipline children with encouragement use empowering language, set clear limits, and follow through with the expectations they set.
Children feel encouraged when they are reinforced for their efforts and allowed to feel important and special. Encouragement could mean playing games to make shopping more fun and paying positive attention to children when they are well-behaved. Asking for the children’s assistance is one way to help them to feel important and invested. For example, parents can ask for children’s input on selections when appropriate, or allow them to help push the cart. Older kids often enjoy “scavenger hunts” for items on the parents’ shopping list.
When and How to Discipline Children in a Store
Limits are clear expectations set by parents to let their children know how to behave. Limits work best when paired with behavior choices. While shopping with children, limits might include things like “no running in the store,” or “we are not shopping for toys today.” When employing limits, it is important to offer both an explanation and acceptable alternatives. Repeating the limit adds clarity. For example, “We don’t run in the store. Running inside is dangerous, you could break something. You can walk carefully with Mommy, or you can ride in the cart; but there is no running in the store.”
Once a limit has been set, parents must stick with it. If a child persists in misbehaving, begging or whining, parents should clearly restate the limits, choices and consequences. If the bad behavior continues, or escalates to a temper tantrum, it is imperative to follow-through on consequences and even to leave the store if necessary.
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