Mixed messages and unrealistic expectations of structure, routine and independence for newborns makes Secrets of the Baby Whisperer confusing for parents of newborns.
Brand new parents often find themselves in for a shock when their newborn bundle of joy wakes up and starts crying. In Secrets of the Baby Whisperer [Ballantine Books, 2001], Tracy Hogg promises new parents that with the proper schedule and approach they will be back in control of their lives and their babies in no time. While some parents might find Hogg's approach more appealing than the thought of responding to a newborn's cues whenever they happen around the clock, the truth is that newborns have unique needs and aren't able to respond to a structured routine.
Starting as You Mean to Go on with Your Newborn
Hogg tells parents it is wise to start as you mean to go on, especially when it comes to babies and sleep. This is sound advice for starting a new job or romantic relationship, but when you start caring for a newborn baby, however, an approach that is suitable for a baby at six months of age simply won't work with a newborn. Newborns are not expected to dress themselves or start off eating vegetables, so why should they be expected to wake, sleep, eat and play according to a parent's schedule or in an independent manner? Teaching a baby to fall asleep on his own is useful and appropriate, but not for babies under 4 months old.
Slow Down and Listen to Your Baby
One suggestion Tracy Hogg does make that is good advice for all parents is to slow down and learn how to read your baby's cues. By learning to read baby's physical cues, along with the time of day, environmental circumstances and your own emotions, parents can learn to respond to all of baby's cues with appropriate action. Not every cry means baby needs to be fed and not every cry can be immediately soothed.
Mixed Messages Makes the Baby Whisperer Confusing
If it seems like these two messages highlighted from Secrets of the Baby Whisperer are contradictory, you're right. On one page Hogg admonishes parents for letting their babies set the pace and schedule of their homes, saying that this approach will quickly spiral into hopeless chaos that will damage both baby and parents, and on the other she says that you should learn to distinguish between a hungry cry and a overstimulated cry in order to respond correctly to your baby's needs.
Tracy Hogg is correct when she says that routine is beneficial for a household, but most babies will naturally grow into a routine of regular eating and sleeping times as they enter their third and fourth month of life. Newborns, on the other hand, wake, eat, sleep and eliminate around the clock. Expecting that you can change that by adhering to a routine is unrealistic at best and at worst potentially harmful to a baby if their cries for food and comfort are ignored.
If you want basic baby care information such as directions for giving a baby a bath or baby massage, or you feel you need a stern English nanny to call you "luv" and tell you to get out of your pajamas because it's four in the afternoon, then you might enjoy Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. If you're looking for information on caring for a newborn that is based on science, physiology and the actual needs and abilities of newborns, you'd be better off with What to Expect the First Year [Workman Publishing Company, 2002] or Dr. Sears' The Baby Book [Little, Brown and Company, 1992]. If you like The Baby Whispering approach but need more detailed information about how to use it with your baby, check out Hogg's book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems [Atria, 2005. ISBN-10:0743488938] instead.
The copyright of the article Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg in Parenting Resources is owned by Michelle Carchrae. Permission to republish Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
I disagree with your article on Tracy Hogg. Her books are amazing and very
clear. We felt confident with the knowledge she gave us, she helped us
understand our baby from day one, how he was feeling, what life is like for
him, and what we needed to do for him. We know other parents who use her
methods and found her brilliant as well. You may need to look at the book
again in a different way.
Jul 29, 2009 11:37 PM
Guest :
I compeltly disagree about this review. The books are wonderful (I have all
3). Tracy actually points out over and over again that we have to LISTEN to
our baby (and later toddler/child) and that the routine/shedule will change
in time as baby grows. And she NEVER sais to ignore your babies cries when
she is hungry/tiered/bored etc. That would be a trust breaker
I
would strongly suggest you actually read the book, because from what you
wrote in your article, I doubt that you have actually read the book -
because otherwise you wouldn't write what you did. Sorry luv - but that's
the truth.
Aug 6, 2009 8:27 PM
Guest :
I absolutely disagree with this article. You say Tracy says to not respond
to your newborn's cues, but the opposite is true. He suggest implementing a
routine (where you listen to cues and respond accordingly), but not a
schedule(where you would ignore cues) To not listen to cues is to
break the bond of trust between you and your baby. Have you actually read
the book? Or even talked to people that have used it? The book is very
clear and her website and forum on babywhisperer.com give added support and
explanation if needed. I have never come across a more comprehensive
book on taking care of the emotional needs of a baby then this one. If you
want a book on taking care of the basics of newborns, like changing diapers
and washing a baby, then maybe thee what to expect in the first year is a
good one, but it doesn't pales in respect to Tracy's methids on bringing
peace into a household.
Aug 8, 2009 10:53 PM
Michelle Carchrae :
Thanks for the feedback everyone. I understand that this book is very
popular, and while I did read it I will read the other books as well to try
and get a clearer picture of Tracey's approach.
The main
element of this book that I found confusing and inappropriate is Tracey
telling parents that they need to take charge of how their baby sleeps from
day one, avoiding nursing baby to sleep and putting him down as soon as he
stops crying instead of soothing him to sleep. This technique might be
great for parents of older babies, or very easy "angel" babies,
for for parents who have a baby with a high need for contact and/or nursing
this approach is going to be very stressful for both baby and parent. Not
to mention depriving parents (and babies) the joy of holding a sleeping
newborn.
Either you're responding to baby's cries and needs
"on demand" around the clock or you're not. If a parent is going
to respond to every need no matter what the hour, why stress out about a
routine in the first few weeks? There are many months of parenting ahead
to worry about a routine.
Sep 21, 2009 7:18 PM
Guest :
I agree with the other reviews. Tracy's book was extremely helpful for us
and demystified a lot for us as new parents. She doesn't speak about
schedules but rather routines which we all live by one way or another. The
book that talks about routine is "Babywise" with which I disagree
in its entirety.
Oct 8, 2009 7:58 AM
Guest :
This is my third child and she was the most difficult. I read the third
book and it saved my sanity!! Things became clear and worked! I give it
away as a baby gift now for newv mom's and all of them have come back to
say how much they loved the book, how much it has helped them, and how it
was the most useful.
Oct 22, 2009 10:14 AM
Guest :
I fully agree with the article, based mostly on the late Ms. Hogg's
television show, which I found painful to watch. On this show we were given
a valuable opportunity to see her theory put into practice. My family and I
felt that she caused babies much unnecessary pain achieving her results.
Despite some valid insights, the hidden motif of her method seemed to be
control rather than love. Think about it. Control. Are control and love
compatible and to what extent? Do we need to control babies or meet their
needs - as difficult as this is to do? How independent can one expect a
newborn to be? I would recommend "The Continuum Concept" by Jean
Liedloff to anyone interested in babies and their happiness. Some might say
that the approach taken in that book is is extreme. To which one can only
reply: Use common sense.
Apr 28, 2009
