Depression in Mothers
Author Tracy Thompson Shares Insights on Motherhood and Depression
In 1995, former Washington Post reporter Tracy Thompson revealed in her book The Beast [Diane Publishing,1995], her decades-long battle with depression that resulted in her suicide attempt and psychiatric hospitalization.
In The Ghost in the House: Motherhood, Raising Children, and Struggling With Depression [HarperCollins,2006], Thompson once again brings readers through the dark and often misunderstood world of depression, but this time as a mother. From her story and the results of a survey of nearly 400 mothers who suffered with depression, Thompson shares her thoughts during the following March 2009 email interview:
Motherhood, Raising Children, and Depression
Q. Why did you write The Ghost in the House: Motherhood, Raising Children, and Struggling with Depression?
I wrote my book because I thought I had my own depression, and how to manage it, all figured out, and then I had a baby. I discovered that I had just moved from the farm club, so to speak, to the big leagues in terms of managing my illness. The stakes were so much higher, the demands so much greater, the list of potential victims much longer. I felt continually insulted by the societal assumption that motherhood is unadulterated bliss and something that women take to "naturally." It's by far the hardest job I've ever had, as well as the most rewarding. (My daughters are my treasures, and it's not their fault mom had to struggle up the learning curve.)
Q. What reoccurring and perhaps surprising messages surfaced during your research with mothers for Ghost in the House?
I think the surprising thing was the pent-up need to talk about it. I posted a query in O Magazine asking people with this experience to contact me, and hours after the issue appeared on the newsstands I had something like 100 e-mails – and they just kept coming and coming. It just blew me away.
Maternal Depression and Kids
Q. In the book you remind readers that “there are two basic ways in which depression is handed down from one generation to another: by the genes parents pass on to their children, and by the behaviors parents model for their children.” What effect does depression have on children?
There are all kinds of effects on kids, and they can vary widely, from full-blown depression in the child, too, to no effect whatsoever. So much depends on how the mom deals with her illness, how soon treatment is begun and how the depression factors into the environment (i.e., if the mom is depressed because she's poor, doesn't know how to handle her kids and her boyfriend keeps beating her up, the outlook for the kids is pretty grim).
There's also research that shows that perinatal depression is harmful to the fetus, since depression raises cortisol levels, and those can pass through the placenta and affect the baby's neurological development. But this is something I try not to dwell on too much, because my purpose is to point out the problem and possible solutions – not to freak women out about the harm they may, potentially, possibly, may someday be doing to their kids.
Dwelling on that is usually the last thing a depressed mother needs; my experience is that depressed mothers feel enough guilt to begin with without adding to their (self-inflicted) burden. And emphasizing the kids kind of makes it sound like the suffering of the women themselves isn't really reason enough for treatment – the REAL reason is we must protect those children!! I'm all for protecting children, but getting treated for depression is worthwhile in and of itself; you don't need any other reason to do it other than the need to be kind to yourself.
Maternal Depression, Marriage and Family
Q. You include a chapter in your book entitled, "How the Struggle with Depression Can Make You a Better Mother" What did you learn from your own journey through maternal depression?
Well, perseverance. No substitute for that, and it's good for your kids to see you trying over and over at stuff, even when you don't always succeed; it's good for them to know that some days you have trouble dragging yourself out of bed but that you do it anyway. Also empathy, and that goes as much for the kids as the mothers. I try to be open with my kids about my own struggles, and to assure them that if I don't feel well it is NOT their fault. I hope, I believe, that my children are tolerant of differences and understanding of other peoples' weaknesses in a way I wasn't when I was their age.
And I should also say that they have also seen a marriage where two people stand by each other for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, because, believe me, my husband and I have seen 'em all. I think this is changing in recent years, by the way; a whole new generation of women has started to write about motherhood in a much more open way. And thanks to the Internet, there's a ton of that writing out there.
Women make up nearly 12 of the 19 million Americans who struggle with depression. Most are likely to suffer during their childbearing years between the ages of twenty-five and forty-four. In Ghost in the House, Tracy Thompson reveals a depression in mothers that can linger far longer than a few months after their baby is born.
For some women, motherhood triggers the entry into or return to depression. When women however, open up and speak their truth they force themselves and the media to stop treating the illness as taboo or the mark of a bad mother. In the process, the healing for women and their families begins.
Additional Resources:
Expectations and Adjusting to Motherhood
Marriage Satisfaction After New Baby
L-Theanine: Nature's Side-Effect Free Anti-Anxiety Amino Acid
"Undoing Depression," by Richard O'Connor, Berkley Trade (January 1, 1999).
The Truth about Maternal & Postpartum Depression
|
What do you think about this article?
More in Partners & Parents
Latest Articles