Parental Desire for a Boy or Girl
Mindset Change In Child Preference Can Bring Immediate Happiness
There is a show of contentment and a sense of satisfaction. Response is euphoric in particular when the sex of the child is what they had desired.
The number of children couples decide to have varies. Their preferences may include having one child only, have another as companion for the first, or more because they love children.
Some parents also wish to have children of both gender in the family. This is a natural desire for those planning a two-child family.
Emotional Maturity
With modern technology, the selection of the child's sex is made possible through medical advances in fertility treatment. The ability to choose a boy or a girl before the woman conceives is commonly known as sex selection.
The medical procedure takes time and the first take may not necessarily be successful. For some couples, its effectiveness and affordability do not deter them from pursuing this option especially when they have strong emotional beliefs and desires.
The emotional aspects of couples wanting a boy or a girl could be seen in Robin Elise Weisse's article "Sex Preference: Girl or Boy". In her article, readers were invited to respond to the question "Were you sad when you found out the sex of your baby?"
Clearly people could become emotional. The impact on the couple's well being would depend on the emotional maturity of the husband and wife and the continuing support they give to each other.
Myth or Miracle
Some couples assume that the ability to conceive and deliver a baby is something "God-given" and to be expected.
When it is time to try for a child and nothing happens, the reality then dawns on them that one or both of them may have a health issue.
Infertility could affect both males and females. Fortunately, modern technology such as artificial insemination (AI) and in vitro fertilization (IVF) have made it possible for couples to have their infertility treated. Improving the success rate of such programs is still a challenge for doctors.
Despite the medical advances, what is not widely mentioned is the disappointment, the uncertainty and the hassle of undergoing the necessary treatment experienced by couples.
Hence, from conception to the delivery of a healthy baby, the child is the indisputable miracle of life.
A Change in Mindset is Within One's Control
All normal parents love their children. What is most admirable are parents coping to raise a child with an abnormality. It is their selfless love and conviction to bring up the child in a normal environment that touches the human heart.
If the birth is not the desired sex, the consolation is a healthy child which the couple could still call their own. The positive aspects of a mindset change for both husband and wife might include:
- They have no fertility issues and the child is conceived naturally
- The pregnancy progressed well throughout the pregnancy period
- Natural delivery of their child with no complications
- Consider adopting a child
In some Asian societies, the preference for a male child is strong because of beliefs and cultural norms that it is important to have a son to carry on the family lineage. This has resulted in female infanticide and abortions performed.
Husband and wife should never feel pressured by norms to have a male heir. They are not obliged to fulfill the norms which are man-made. The people who established the norms are no longer around. Subsequent generations seldom or would never feel attached to their ancestors' thinking and way of life. What matters most is therefore the present.
It is an issue of revisiting the mindset.
Achieving Happiness is Within One's Control
The world today is full of environmental pollution, health hazards and social complexities. Stress is more prevalent in a rapidly changing world. The H1N1 flu pandemic and the resurrection of drug resistant diseases are also some causes for concern.
The pertinent point is whether the parents could live long enough to see their children grow up and whether the children could survive their parents given today's natural and man-made disasters.
Hence, channeling energy to provide a conducive environment for the child's development and growth would be a more productive move.
Happy Parents Happy Children
According to Dr Carol Valinejad in her book How to Have a Happy Toddler, positive parenting is important. "Happy children come from happy homes. Children learn to be happy by what they observe and feel around them, and when they receive the support and approval, that gives them the confidence to try new skills," explained Dr Valinejad.
Changing one's mindset brings immediate happiness. Only when parents address their own needs as well as their children's could a happy family be formed.
Reference:
Valinejad, Carol (Dr). How to Have a Happy Toddler: Responding to Your Child's Emotional Needs From 0-4. GB:Hamlyn, 2007.
Read Choice of a Boy or Girl for New Parents to understand how children can bring happiness to the family.
Happy Parents Happy Children
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