The Worldwide Candle Lighting

Remember a Loved One – Light a Candle for All Children Who Have Died

Oct 31, 2009

Since 1997, The Compassionate Friends have held an online Worldwide Candle Lighting Vigil on the second Sunday in December. Join them to remember a child who has died.

For parents who lost a child to death, it can be very difficult to cope with the death because the pain of the loss is one that never goes away. The pain of losing a child is often intensified during the holiday season. One helpful way for parents to keep the memory of their child alive is by participating in the Worldwide Candle Lighting held in December each year on the second Sunday.

This event unites bereaved parents, family and friends around the world by lighting candles for one hour to honor and remember children who have died at any age from any cause. This international global event is hosted as a gift to the bereaved community around the world by The Compassionate Friends. December 13, 2009 marks the thirteenth celebration of this healing event.

Since 1997, The Compassionate Friends (TCF) have hosted the Worldwide Candle Lighting. The Worldwide Candle Lighting started in the United States as just a small Internet observance, but over the past decade has grown in size and in number as word has spread of the remembrance. The event is now believed to be the largest mass candle lighting on the globe.

In 2008 services were held in all 50 states plus Washington D.C. and Puerto Rico with participants from 19 other countries. Other organization – MISS Foundation, MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving), POMC (Parents of Murdered Children), and BPUSA (Bereaved Parents of the USA) – joined The Compassionate Friends in the Worldwide Candle Lighting.

Light a Candle to Remember a Child at 7:00 in Every Time Zone

The international Worldwide Candle Lighting is believed to be the largest candle lighting on the globe. Bereaved parents, families and friends can participate online or in one of the hundreds of in person services held in the United States or in other Countries.

To participate in The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting on the second Saturday in December light a candle at 7:00 p.m. in your time zone. The Compassionate Friends website notes that this creates "a virtual wave of light, hundreds of thousands of persons commemorate and honor children in a way that transcends all ethnic, cultural, religious, and political boundaries."

Compassionate Friend Member Jacqueline Brown from the Peace Valley TCF in New Britain, Pennsylvania eloquently summed up the reason for the Worldwide Candle Lighting in her 1998 poem, "Lights of Love." The poem in part reads:

Parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends join together on this special second Sunday in December to light a candle for all children who have died, so that their light may always shine.

How to Join the Worldwide Candle Lighting

There are many ways to join the Worldwide Candle Lighting. Parents can look for Worldwide Candle Lighting Service in their area on The Compassionate Friends website. They decide to host their own event, using resources on The Compassionate Friends website or can plan on visiting the WorldWide Candle Lighting online at the time is is happening in their own time zone.

Resources for Hosting a Candle Lighting Event

The main Compassionate Friends website provides an article “Suggestions to Help Plan a Memorial Service in Conjunction with The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting©" on their website to help bereavement organizations, churches, funeral homes, hospices and informal groups plan their own memorial service or Candle Lighting remembrance.

The Atlanta Chapter of Compassionate Friends offers a collection of poems written by bereaved parents, grandparents and friends as part of their 2009 Candle Lighting page.

There are also some helpful resources for planning a candle lighting event to remember a loved one in the "Create a Candle Lighting Ceremony" article.

About The Compassionate Friends

The Compassionate Friends is a worldwide organization that has offered grief support to bereaved families following the death of a child for four decades. The Compassionate Friends mission statement explains that the group offers "friendship, understanding, and hope to bereaved parents, siblings, grandparents, and other family members during the natural grieving process after a child has died."

This global support group for bereaved parents was founded in 1969 when Rev. Simon Stephens, a chaplain at the Warwickshire Hospital in England, introduced two sets of grieving parents. According to the Compassionate Friends website, he soon realized that "the support they gave each other was better than anything he, as a chaplain, could ever say or provide." These two sets of parents eventually organized as a self-help group as "The Society of the Compassionate Friends" and begin reaching out and offering support to other newly bereaved parents in their community.

In 1978 The Compassionate Friends was established and incorporated in the United States. Now there Compassionate Friends organizations in more than 30 countries. In the United States there are over 600 chapters serving all 50 states plus Washington D.C. and Puerto Rico.

There is an old expression that if grief is shared, it is only half the grief. The Worldwide Candle Lighting Event is a helpful way for parents to share the grief as they navigate the journey of grief following the loss of a child. By joining with thousands of grieving parents around the world to remember all children who have died this may help to lessen the pain.

The copyright of the article The Worldwide Candle Lighting in Parenting Resources is owned by Kirsti A. Dyer. Permission to republish The Worldwide Candle Lighting in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.