Internet-Based Support for Mothers
How New Mothers Can Find Support and Information Online
Apr 5, 2008
New mothers need support which their immediate family and friends are often unable to provide. In today’s increasingly fragmented society, the internet plays an important role in linking mothers with each other. Online forums give mothers access to information, support and a vehicle for expressing opinions and issues.
New Mothers Experience Difficult Emotions and Isolation
New mothers find their social and emotional worlds changed beyond recognition.Their partners may not necessarily understand, while relatives are often full of well-meaning but confusing advice. There is a tendency for others to focus exclusively on the baby, which can be experienced as a loss of identity. Recovery Tips for New Mothers discusses some ways to deal with the often overwhelming early months.
Our society has become increasingly isolated. Nuclear families, and often single-parent families, replace extended families and all the support that can bring. Without such help, parenting can feel like a heavy burden.
Parenting Books and Support Groups
The parenting book industry can be a mother's best friend, or worst enemy. Many of these books can have the effect of inducing confusion and self-doubt. No book can know every individual baby, and when mothers take the advice as gospel, the result can be unrealistic expectations, frustration and disappointment. If baby isn’t sleeping through the night by three months or conforming to a routine of naps and feeding times, mothers can feel they have failed.
Mother and baby groups can certainly be a welcome source of community support, but they can also be competitive, with mothers comparing which baby has reached a milestone first. Depending on their access to transport, some mothers cannot get to them regularly, and not all mothers enjoy group situations.
Fast Access to Help and Information for Mothers
In today’s increasingly rushed world, the internet has come to play a key role in our social lives. For a mother who is short of time and often in the home for long periods, this is a life-line. Typing can be done one-handed while holding a sleeping baby, and responses to posts on forums are often quicker than reaching friends by phone. The internet also, crucially, provides a way of finding out what groups and services are available in one’s area.
Online Forums for Moms
Online forums provide an avenue for discussion about a huge variety of parenting topics. There are forums for expectant moms, new moms, and for parents who share particular philosophies of parenting - for example, Mothering supports 'natural' parenting. These forums give mothers information on everything from nappies to breastfeeding, to going back to work and childcare issues. Moms can also network to find other local moms through these forums, with virtual friendships leading to real ones.
Anonymous Support for Mothers
As pseudonyms are used, the anonymity of onine forums can make mothers feel safe to share socially unacceptable things such as feeling angry at their ever-crying baby or feeling put off their partner. There is open discussion of potentially controversial parenting methods such as co-sleeping and extended breastfeeding (e.g. Kellymom), which will rarely be mentioned by a doctor or health visitor. Forums also provide links to other sites with more information.
The internet is a wonderful tool for breaking the isolation that so many new mothers feel. While it can never replace an extended 'tribe', it gives mothers the opportunity to make more empowered choices, as well as to express their feelings and receive advice about a variety of issues.
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