How To Teach Table Manners

Manners are Important Social Skills to Have

Aug 8, 2009 Sue Dillicar

Your children use their social skills in all aspects of their lives, from the playground to the classroom, to the workplace.

By teaching children good manners, parents are helping their child to develop strategies for being successful in their relationships. Karen McIlveen, founder of The Grace Academy Finishing School, said in a March 2009 interview that teaching your children good manners gives them confidence and boosts their self-esteem. "When a child knows what to say and how to act in any situation, it eases their anxiety and allows them to act confidently."

What are social skills, after all, but the skills that enable people to interact easily with other people. This is why parents teach children courtesy and manners. They are not born with good manners. Children need to be shown over and over how to behave in situations. The table is a good place to start teaching children these skills. Good table manners teach children courtesy towards other people. In addition, table manners allow children to feel confident, whether they are eating at a friend's place or at a restaurant. Even though children may be kind and smart, other people will judge them on how they behave. Help them make a good impression by teaching these basic skills.

Ways to Teach Table Manners

1. Set a good example. Children learn a lot by watching their parents so adults should set an example by showing courtesy to others. For example, they should always say 'thank you' and 'please', and not reach across the table for the water but ask someone to pass it to them.
2. Keep it simple. Aim to master one or two manners at a time before adding a new skill or situation to master.
3. Rehearse. Have special dress-up family dinners on a regular basis with good dinnerware, tablecloth and napkins. Invite friends or relatives and ask everyone to make a point of being on their best behaviour. Make it fun!
4. Use a reward system. What about a jellybean jar for each child, and adding a jellybean for each polite behaviour observed at the table. Allow them to eat some for dessert. For people who don't want to encourage eating sweets, use some other form of reward system.
5. Have "What if' scenarios. 'What would you do if you drop your spoon on the floor?"; "What would you do if you hate the dinner someone served?"
6. Praise efforts. Recognise and praise children's efforts.
7. Print the rules. Make or buy placemats with table manners printed on them. Get the kids involved in making and decorating the placemats. Have a fun quiz over dinner to see who remembers the most rules.

So What Table Manners Should Parents Teach?

Talk to kids about these basic rules and explain why they should do it. The basic rule of table manners is to behave in a way that shows consideration for the other people around the table and doesn't cause offense or turn them off their food. Parents who are unsure of where to start can find guides on the internet, such as "14 Table Manners that Your Child Should Know", or at the library.

Teaching children table manners is an important social skill they can use throughout their lives. Once mastered, it won't be forgotten – rather like riding a bike. And it only takes a few minutes a day, or a couple of nights a week.

The copyright of the article How To Teach Table Manners in Parenting Resources is owned by Sue Dillicar. Permission to republish How To Teach Table Manners in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

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