Making the Decision to Have Children
What New Parents Should Know About How Life Changes With Kids
Oct 16, 2009
Having children is one of the biggest decisions a couple or person will ever make in their lives. Some are concerned with financial issues, while others are worried about whether or not they can handle being a parent. Here is a look at a few common concerns, to help potential parents decide if they’re ready for kids.
The Expense of a New Child
While there undoubtedly are some situations where people really can’t afford to have children, the bulk of those who worry about the financial aspect simply need to make some personal spending adjustments. A cup of coffee once or twice daily at the local coffee shop is not a necessity. Brew it at home. Pack a lunch instead of eating out. Buy clothes on sale. Do without the expensive brand names.
There are plenty of ways to reduce spending… from coffee, all the way up to a less expensive vehicle or more affordable housing. The bottom line is that in most cases, children can be affordable. It’s simply a matter of adjusting one’s view of want versus need.
Waiting until a couple can afford children means they will likely never have them. The strange thing is that once there is a child in the home, the finances somehow seem to adjust themselves, leaving parents wondering where their money went prior to having a child.
Being a Parent
Perhaps the biggest generalized misconception about having children is that life won’t change much. It changes a lot. Bringing a child into the world does not make the child an accessory in the parents' lives; the parents become an accessory in the child’s life.
The child’s needs always come first and time for oneself will be at a premium. New parents will function on less sleep than they ever thought possible. They may wake periodically throughout the night just to see if their baby is still breathing. The paranoia that comes with being a new parent is phenomenal.
The days of spontaneously getting up and going will be over, at least until the child is significantly older. Even when parents get some time to themselves, they will first have to ensure the child is taken care of. They’ll need to find a babysitter and leave detailed care instructions and contact numbers.
Trying to go out with the kid(s) in tow is just as difficult. There’s a rather substantial planning process involved in leaving the house once children are in the picture. They need to be fed, changed, dressed, and possibly changed again. Parents will need to pack diapers, wipes, a change of clothes and food prior to leaving the house, and in most cases be home by nap time. Life will revolve around the child.
Dealing With Lifestyle Changes
In the beginning, new parents (especially new mothers) may become extremely overprotective to the point that they fear that serious harm will come to their baby if anyone else touches it. It is difficult to overcome these feelings, but they will dissipate, in time.
The best way to deal with the lifestyle adjustments that come with being a parent is to have a good support system. The child’s grandparents, aunts and uncles can help with housework or childcare during the transition period and from time to time thereafter. They can also provide an occasional break for the new parents.
The parents’ friends who have children of similar ages are also an important part of a good support system. They can share tips, tricks, and experiences. Play dates are excellent both for the children and parents, as it’s nice for parents to talk to other adults, and also good for children to play with other kids their age.
Parenting 24/7
Being a parent is as close to a 24/7 job as it gets. It is true that new parents must give up some personal conveniences when they decide to bring a child into the world. However, these absent conveniences will be replaced by a sense of meaning in life that one may not have known was missing. The joy and love that a child brings to their parents’ lives unquestionably outweighs everything else.
 |
