Make Friends With Parents at Your Child's School

What to Talk About When Waiting at the School Gates

Aug 11, 2008 Rachel Bellerby

Collecting and dropping your child at school doesn't sound like much of a chore. But for anyone who's a little shy, waiting at the school gates can be a daily trial.

If it’s your child’s first time at school, you might not know anyone and seeing groups of mums and dads chatting and laughing together can be an intimidating sight.

How to Make Friends With Other Parents

The situation at the school gates is a little like a party. There will be large groups of people chatting happily together, but if you look closely, there will be other parents standing on the sidelines, either alone or with just one other person.

It’s easier to approach a smaller group, and a parent standing on her own is likely to be glad you’ve made the effort to talk. Try not to worry if you can’t see anyone you know when you first arrive at school. Ask your child if he can see one of his friends and approach that child together. Then you have two children who are friends and a ready-made conversation starter with the other parent.

What to Talk About With Other Parents

Happily, because you’re at the school gates you have one or more children and so have a ready made topic of conversation which is common to every parent.

However, tempting though it may be to chatter on about your own child, a great way to endear people to you is to ask them about their own children instead. Remember, most people love to be asked for their advice, so whether it’s about which day the sports day is taking place, or the closing time of the supermarket, just ask and take it from there.

Finding Topics of Conversation

If you’re stuck for other topics to talk about, watch or listen to the local news during the day. Items such as a new shop opening in the area or a local protest will give you something to contribute to the conversations.

Consider volunteering for school events, such as being a supervisor on a class trip or a helper at the school fair cake stall. The more you have to do with school, the more people you'll meet and the more your confidence will grow.

As a last resort, if there’s a time you're waiting at the school gates and feel really awkward with no one to approach or talk to, check your cell phone and pretend to be looking at your messages. But remember, this also acts as a barrier to someone who may hesitate to approach you, thinking you’re busy with your phone. Try to look relaxed and open and people should come to you.

Finally, just take things slowly. If you’re new to a school or area, it will take you and your child time to make friends. Once people start to recognise your face and you and your child become known in the playground, you’ll be on your way to chatting away confidently and making new friends.

Resources

Ursiny, Tim The Confidence Plan: How to Build a Stronger You [Sourcebooks, 2005]

thesite.org – advice on making friends, how to combat shyness and be comfortable with your own personality

The copyright of the article Make Friends With Parents at Your Child's School in Parenting Resources is owned by Rachel Bellerby. Permission to republish Make Friends With Parents at Your Child's School in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

Local Events can be a Topic of Conversation