Disciplining a Child Who Bites
Prevent Biting With Clear Discipline, Close Supervision and Teaching
Oct 28, 2009
Aggressive behavior in children is a big problem for parents of children in daycares and parents who stay home with their children. Biting in particular is dangerous and emotionally upsetting, and whenever children bite they must be disciplined in an appropriate way that does not prompt future biting and teaches them alternative behaviors they can use the next time they feel the urge to bite.
Why Children Bite
Biting is frequently seen in toddlers and young children who have not yet developed the verbal skills necessary to express themselves with words. Babies may bite when they are exploring their new teeth and learning how they work. Children 3 years of age and older bite less frequently because they are generally better at managing emotion and expressing themselves verbally, but it is still possible for a child to have a problem with biting at 3 or older. Children over the age of 3 who bite frequently should be evaluated for underlying sensory integration issues that could be causing them to bite.
Biting Triggers Strong Emotions
Being bitten by a child, or witnessing a child bite another child can be an emotionally charged event and parents and caregivers may find it difficult to separate their own emotion from the situation. However, responding in a violent way by hitting or biting the child back to teach him how it feels only serves to teach that violence is an effective way of getting what one wants, but only if one is much bigger than the other person.
Nonetheless, children who bite do need to clearly get the message that biting others is not acceptable. Removing the child from the situation and sternly saying, "NO, we never bite people!" is appropriate, even with a pre-verbal toddler.
Preventing Future Biting Incidents
Incidents of biting often occur in clusters, and children in a daycare or preschool setting may experience a "biting epidemic". The best way to prevent future bites is to identify the child or children most likely to bite others, and watch them very closely to see what situations, people and other conditions tend to accompany their urge to bite. If a child tends to bite when she is overly frustrated by others, try to intervene and redirect her attention when she first displays frustration.
Teach Alternative Behaviors
Biting can also be prevented by helping children learn what they can do when they are feeling frustrated or angry. Teeth Are Not For Biting [Free Spirit Publishing, Inc., 2003] by Elizabeth Verdick is a board book for young children that can help parents teach their children alternatives to biting and empathy for others. Recognizing and identifying a child's emotions can also help by giving children the words to express their feelings. An older child who bites for power and control may find it helpful to learn about negotiating and compromise.
There is no "quick fix" that will eliminate all biting immediately, but clearly stating that biting is unacceptable, working with a child to recognize and prevent situations that trigger his or her urge to bite, reminding young children to use words instead of teeth and teaching alternative ways to express emotion can help prevent a child from biting others.
